First and foremost I would like to start off by saying- fuck scary movies. The fanatics of terror really worry me: mainly because of their ever ready creepy killer face that is meant to scare anyone at any time(Yup, Alex Scott Webster… mainly looking at you!). Oh, October. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!? It is the time of year where everyone wants to put on scary movies and watch, in suspense, as people get murdered. I seriously have no understanding of this concept and am honestly never a fan of going down that route. Why do you want to watch something that will keep you up at night!? Do you enjoy the thought of paranormal activity playing with sharp objects near and around your genitals as you sleep? Normal people should answer NO… BDSM+Sci Fi lovers are on a whole other level, in which I’ll repeat: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
So, as a Halloween themed Drinking Game to you all, I decided that Scream would satisfy your needs. On a more selfish note, I have already seen it and know when all the scary parts are so I can casually leave the room as they happen. I watched it on a perfectly sunny day with my window shades open and a glass of sangria in hand. It has been an oddly warm October in California, so no blankets were necessary. Instead of telling you why you should rewatch this, I figured you’d enjoy the antics that went through my brain while watching it.
Drew Barrymore is pretty annoying in the opening sequence. Doesn’t it excite you that she is going to die?! Now that we are in the future and have sat through He’s Just Not That Into, Fever Pitch, and Going the Distance; it is almost preferred that she had been forrealzies gutted and hung from a tree. Where did the cute girl from E.T. go? I want her back and stashed as a child actress we can watch for forever.
“Movies make psychos more creativeâ€ — 100% Agreed. Don’t you feel like now that you’ve watched Breaking Bad: it is a calling to make meth and succeed? People who watch Law and Order are associated with being paranoid fucks. This is because all the crazy shit we get to see on TV/Movies are considered real to the people that are watching them. More specifically, they self identify with the characters and then think it will happen to them.
Kevin Williamson directs- where has he been since Dawsons Creek? IMDB says not much, Vampire Diaries? WTF? Angsty teenagers in North Carolina and now angsty vampire teens? He obviously isn’t trying to branch out. Wait- Matthew Lillard and Jamie Kennedy were two different people? Kid me is dumb. Although, highly accurate, considering no one can name a single thing those two have been in since this movie. Also-Who hangs thongs in their closet? Neon orange thongs. Is that what happened in the 90’s? Neve Campbell- no. Your mother was a whore and she did deserve to die. Deal with it.
All right kiddies: take a drink every time:
- The phone rings
- A horror movie is named
- Innards are shown on the outside
- An over exaggerated close up shot of a face
- Everytime Courtney Cox is being irritating [which is every time she is on screen: amiright?!]
- Meta Moments occur
- “Rulesâ€ are broken
- Neve Campbell Screams