The Incredibles Drinking Game

Don’t look at me like that. Kid movies are the best movies to drink to! Sure, their parents may look down on you for drinking while babysitting… but c’mon… how else are you supposed to make it through taking care of someone else’s kids without going crazy?! The little parasites will keep their eyes glued to the television, while you get to NOT interact with them for an hour and a half! Let’s just call this a win/win situation and pop open some adult drink!

avoid having to deal with shit like this when you put this movie on!

This movie is so easy to drink to because it is hands down the best kids movie on the block. Pixar NAILED it on a family centric super hero movie. Nothing about this movie sucks. It deals with some dark subject matter and they keep it light enough for children to feel like it was made for their viewing pleasure. Oh children, silly silly children, you too will be playing this drinking game as an adult… because this movie is a classic. In fact, you will NEED to play this drinking game when you breed your own batch of brats to the world… mainly because kids keep getting shittier and shittier as the generations spew out of vaginas… yours will not be the exception. The awful future generation is actually bearable to think about as long as Pixar keeps on making movies aimed towards them. The company develops intricate story boards with characters that are flawed and lovable. Their characters, whether human, fish, toy, or cars, all feel like your best friend. I don’t know how Pixar does it- but at the end of every movie you actually feel like you know the characters and went through their adventure with them.

they should rename their company "we don't fuck up"

 

The movie even matches personalities with super hero powers. Frozone is obviously SOO COOL he can manipulate water and freeze things around him! Mr. Incredible is clearly a strong man both in heart and body. Mrs. Incredible… well I’m sure we can make up some crazy backstory to why she’s so flexible… but I just want to know how her eggs were able to conceive kids. I mean, I totally get that Mr. Incredibles sperm is superhuman, but is it strong enough to break through the elasticity those eggs held? Well I guess the answer is yes. But still… their sex had to have been crazy kinky. Uh, sidetrackedness… awesome… back to the point of this paragraph… Bonus extra credit: if you watch the deleted scenes you find out WHY Violet can turn invisible. It’s not just because she is some pseudo gothic angsty teen, she actually has character development that explains her power!

Mrs. Incredible would not be happy with this woman... & yes, I am guesstimating the size of Bobs Balls.

Mrs. Incredible would not be happy with this woman... & yes, I am guesstimating the size of Bobs Balls.

 

The heroism the movie displays is epic… like the moment when Mr. Incredible saves Violet and Dash from becoming street mulch… it’s entirely the same as Mrs. Weasley screaming “not my daughter you bitch” to Bellatrix Lestrange. You KNOW shit is going to go down. Parents are crazy like that; they always need to seek retribution for even thinking of harming their children. Pixar and JK Rowling both understand the crazy that parents feel towards their children and are able to convey it in a way that kids can actually connect with.

One of the best moments in kid movie history comes from Edna Mode. This elderly and petite woman has soo much feisty in her; she puts those Real Housewives to shame. She has no problem telling people they look fat after years of not seeing each other and she imposes herself on others like she’s the Queen of England. She has my vote for the most respectable costume designer… ever. The moment of shining glory is found in her absolute loathing for capes. Her despise is heard in her voice and she gives great reason as to why capes are no longer part of her design. What will shatter your brain is the fact that Edna is voiced by one of the writers of The Incredibles- Brad Bird. I know. Take it in, I apologize for ruining one of your favorite characters, but you have to admit- that man is AWESOME.

Mind. Blown.

Here’s the deal. This movie is awesome for a drinking game because they are playing a drinking game in the movie! You probably missed it the first time you watched The Incredibles, but take a close listen to the scene where Bob, Ellen, Violet, and Dash are escaping Syndromes’ lair. They cross paths with a group of guards who are in their car prematurely celebrating their success. You can hear one saying “Everytime they run, we take a shot”. These guards are straight ballers and now you can be one too!

drunkass

Raise those glasses up when:

  1. Mr. & Mrs. Incredible obviously hit on each other
  2. Anyone is wearing a cape
  3. The kid on the tricycle catches Mr. Incredible with his superpowers
  4. Puns are used with Frozone
  5. When you can see both of Violets eyes [out of costume!]
  6. An explosion happens
  7. Bob and Ellen yell at each other
  8. Syndrome zaps someone with his stun gun
  9. Bob, Ellen, Violet, and Dash are all using their powers at the same time
  10. Can you name the person who voices the character?  – give out a drink
    1. The drink can be countered if you can name another project that actor has done and the character they played!
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