This movie summed up into one word would be “Cunty”. Mean Girls is filled with so much petty hate it makes nice people blush and mean people think they aren’t that mean. Hence the reason why a drinking game is just so necessary to make out of this movie. If you’re like most Americans, you enjoy watching the beratement of others, as long as it’s not you who is getting the thick end of the stick [although, I do feel there are some people who would be down for that… but that’s a whole different story]! Mean Girls has so many great insults and kniving plans that it makes me wonder what exactly Rosalind Wisman [the writer of the book] was put through in her teenage years. It also makes me proud to be a Tina Fey Fan, because she transformed the book into a kick ass movie that is rewatchable for ages to come.
Speaking of Tina Fey… Who wouldn’t go gay for Tina Fey? Men of the world move aside… if she ever leaves her husband there will be a monster line of lipstick lesbians, dykey lesbians, and bisexual women trying to get a piece of that! How is she the funniest woman in America?! She wrote the screen play for Mean Girls and it shows. The script is well written and actually funny! Not only is she fantastic at writing but she also plays the lead teacher, Mrs. Norbury, to serve as a moral compass. She plays the part of a mid aged woman whose life is falling apart SO WELL and is able to make great sarcastic remarks to the students and build a real relationship. One reason why this movie kicks so much ass is because in the first scene we see her in, we are met with both awkward hilarity and her boobs. Awesome.
In addition to the awesomeness that is Tina Fey, there are other wonderful Saturday Night Live alumni who grace us with their presence in this movie. Tim Meadows, Ana Gastyer, and Amy Poehler are all lead characters who play adults I would love to know. Tim Meadows as a grumpy horny principal = entertainment. The way he smashes a baseball bat into the fire alarm is so necessary in controlling a bunch of rowdy teenagers! Watching Ana Gastyer and Amy Poehler play exact opposite roles is interesting. Ana plays Cady’s mom and is responsible with her daughter by making sure that Cady’s transition is going well at her new school and grounding her when she does wrong. Amy plays Regina George’s mother, and encompasses all that I hate with older women and teenage children. Mrs. George is the worst mom ever- she lets her kids have sex in the house, gives them booze, and perpetually tries to stay young and hip by dressing the same way her child does. I want to barf every time I see Mrs. George on the screen. Which makes Amy Poehler such a great actress. Well done, Amy! You help me hate parents who shouldn’t be breeding just a little bit more!
Let’s talk Mean Girls- Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, Lacey Chabert, and Lizzy Caplan. I am totally throwing Janis into the mean girl pile, because she is just as hot and just as mean as the others. These girls are all outrageously good looking and can act like 16 year olds to the core. For example- of course Regina George followed a funky Swedish Kalteen bar diet to lose three pounds! Bitch was eating carbs like she should be on the cast of Epic Meal Time! Teenagers are fucking stupid and will do epically illogical things to make them feel better about themselves. Although they play different distinct characters they are all insecure, misunderstood, and just plain drama filled. The good news is; even if the drama in this movie is way too sophomoric for you… you can have the comfort of knowing that nearly all of these hotty-bom-bodies were over 18. Rachael , Lacey , Lizzy , and Amanda  are all legal to drool all over.
Lindsay on the other hand was filming this at the tender young age of 17. She was actually the age she should have been for her role! How very unlike the film industry! Her career was actually promising at this time. The remake of The Parent Trap didn’t infuriate me at all! Spoiler alert: SHE PLAYED BOTH THE TWINS. Her acting ability as a child was freaking phenomenal! In Freaky Friday she gave an Oscar worthy performance, I don’t give a shit if you don’t agree with me. Every time I watch that movie I think that Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan really switched bodies in order to play their roles. Check out their mannerisms and just overall character reactions, it is perfect. Maybe Lindsay used up all her responsibility to play an adult in Freaky Friday! Or maybe she just used up all of her great acting within these three movies that she couldn’t bear to give another great role a shot. Instead she turned to shots of everythingintefuckingbar and cocaine. Hurrah child actors!
So in honor of those who have gone to rehab I present to you the Mean Girls Drinking game. I highly suggest sticking to Beer with this one. Why? Because I said so. And I don’t want to be held accountable for alcohol poisoning. Enjoy!
Mean Girls Drinking Game:
- “Plastics” are referred to
- “Fetch” is said
- Everytime Cady has an African moment
- The minions [Gretchen and Karen] go against Regina
- Janice is called a Dyke
- Damien is referred to as gay [x2 if the term Gay Damien is used]
- Jungle like music is played [x2 if people are acting like animals while playing]
- “Regina George” is said… [x2 in an annoyed manner]
- More than one person is on a phone call [+1 for each person on the call]
- Every time a bus is mentioned or shown on screen [+1 for each person to get hit]