Trailer Trash

TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS REJECTED TAGLINE: If it’s an inanimate object, you CAN still use that word! REVIEW: Kenneth Branagh directs himself as the greatest detective of all time up against a murderer’s row…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. FOCUS REJECTED TAGLINE: What if a Boy Kissed a Girl, But the Boy Was Black, and the Girl Was Blonde? REVIEW: Will Smith returns to form, or at least as much of it as he…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. THE BOY NEXT DOOR REJECTED TAGLINE: She’s baaaaaack REVIEW: If you’re a fan of shoved-in, obvious sexual innuendos then this movie is for you my friend. Even though it wants to be a titillating thriller,…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. PADDINGTON AKA: From the Producer of Harry Potter REVIEW: The first thing anyone says about Paddington is that the bear’s eyes are horrifyingly, soul-crushingly dead. Because they are. One look deep into the eponymous Paddington’s…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. THE EQUALIZER REJECTED TAGLINE: More Saving. More Doing. More Denzeling. REVIEW: Since 2001, Denzel Washington has played a morally ambiguous badass in all of his roles. Every few years, one of his movies actually has…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. THE MAZE RUNNER AKA: Hunger Games: Puzzle Edition REVIEW: Studios are quickly running out of original ideas for films (starting 100 years ago). The new, hot formula seems to be: Kids + Death + X…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. THE DROP AKA: The Town, but a Different One REVIEW: How do you make a crime dram interesting? Well for one, you put in ah-mahzing actors like Tom Hardy and the late, great James Gandolfini. More importantly,…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. THE IDENTICAL AKA: Elvis Rights Were Too Expensive REVIEW: Because sometimes fanfic gets made into movies, The Identical asks the question: what if Elvis had a twin brother who’s adopted parents wanted to beat him…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. AS ABOVE, SO BELOW AKA: The Descent: Paris REVIEW:Horror is a hard genre to get right, and seemingly more difficult every year. The movies that actually work are the ones that remember they’re movies first,…

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TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy. SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR AKA: Sin City: The Spirit Lives On REVIEW:There’s only one reason this sequel would come out almost ten years after the first, and the burning drive to tell…

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