TRAILER TRASH

In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, with 100 percent accuracy.

The Words

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AKA: Please Take Me Seriously, A Bradley Cooper Story

REVIEW: Yet another movie that focuses on the importance and struggle of a writer, not much new ground is broken here. The protagonist learns there’s more to life than his chosen profession, which also helps him be a better writer in the end. The cast is stronger than it has a right to be. The whole thing turns out to be an allegory about making mistakes, but owning up to them eventually and the world forgives you I guess. I think that’s the rationalization behind stealing Forrest Gump’s beginning of telling a story to strangers on a bench. Also, Dennis Quaid is in it I guess.

SPOILER: The whole thing is a story Bradley Cooper is writing about a writer who steals another writer’s story.

RATING: ** (out of ****)

BACHELORETTE 

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AKA: Bridesmaids 2: Still Gettin’ Married

REVIEW: Though on the surface it looks like a Bridesmaids rip off, that’s only because it is completely a Bridesmaids ripoff. They even got a minor character from Bridesmaids to be a bigger minor character here. Once you get over that fact, the movie has it’s fun moments, mostly driven by the charm of Isla Fischer and Lizzy Caplan. Kirsten Dunst surprisingly brings the funny a couple of times, but lacks in the dramatic parts, coming off more whiny than serious. If you’re going to follow a plot so similar to the most well known comedy of recent years, you have to change more than having 3 leads that are like the Kristen Wiig character.

SPOILER: Adam Scott and Lizzy Caplan don’t stay together because she takes a job on a cruise ship.

RATING: **1/2 (out of ****)

Rec 3: Genesis

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AKA: So I Married a Chain Saw Wielding Zombie Murderer

REVIEW: What the previous Rec movies have done so well is trapped the characters in a small location with the zombies and let the havoc run on that scale. The third installment (but first in the timeline of the movies) is no different, playing with a secluded wedding destination. If the Walking Dead left you wanting for a more visceral zombie experience, Rec 3 will more than leave you satisfied with the close-quarters violence that only chain saws and eye gouging can give. It’s movies like this that disprove the rumor that zombies are dead. When you do something right, it doesn’t matter how many tired shambling versions are around you.

SPOILER: The whole thing is in Spanish.

RATING: *** (out of ****)