THE POP FILTER MIXTAPE

TOXIC WASTE POOL PARTY

Main Theme – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Now I have forgotten exactly why we are having a toxic waste pool party, but the fact remains that we are here and splashing around in some shit that we shouldn’t. If we don’t end up with lymphoma or some other terrible cancer, I wonder what will happen to all of us…or do I! If you find yourself in this situation, throw on the TMNT theme song. It will remind everyone that while our toxic waste frolic seemed like a good idea, we will eventually be turned into half-man/half-animal hybrids that are forced to live in the sewer. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we get to decide if we want to fight crime, because none of us will ever turn into Splinter. And that’s why you never invite rats to a toxic waste pool party. Or a regular pool party. Or any party. – JRN

Bumpin Rap Tapes – Japanther

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I’m assuming this party is a pretty much equal mixture of toxic waste and pool.  Like the pool is actually clean but there’s barrels of waste nearby that people are playing with and slinging sludge from.  If that’s the case you’re gonna want a song that’s a little poppy and fun with enough sludge underneath to make it authentic.  That is this song.  It’s a punky love song – which is awesome – and the music is just drums, bass and a little keyboards for accents.  As a bonus it clocks in at just over two minutes so you’ll almost definitely get to hear the whole thing before you melt. – DT

LOVE ME DEAD – LUDO

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This sounds like something the Addams family would do, like their summer beach house is on a toxic waste dump site because they like the privacy and how the radioactive green ooze lights up the night. So I’m imagining a pool party in such an environment looks like an Edward Gorey drawing with all the two-headed freaks splashing around in Victorian bathing suits and drinking bottles of poison with little umbrellas.  Add Ludo’s creepy, festive dirge and you’ve got yourself a par-tay. The opening line “Love me cancerously, like a salt-sore soaked in the sea” should play well to a crowd basically made of cancer and soon everyone will be partnering up with their own “parasitic, psycho, filthy creature” for the chicken tournament. The winners get first dibs on any limbs that float to the surface! – AS

ANDREW WK- I GET WET

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Andrew WK was practically made in a lab for this. He’s dirty and aggressive, but all about partying and has an ear for pop melodies. That ear has just been bludgened for years by fists and decibels. I once saw a shirt that said “WK OWNS THE PIT”, and the man wearing it was about 6’6 and he was indeed owning the pit. But instead of flailing around violently he was snapping and skanking and dancing beautifully. That embodies the spirit of Andrew WK, a potentially dangerous giant trying to just have fun. A Toxic Waste Pool Party is equal parts dangerous edge and good times. We all know we’re going to die, so there’s no inhibitions left, but everyone still wants to have fun instead of crying over the demise of everyone in attendance. And we’ll all get wet. -MG

CRAZY TOWN – BUTTERFLY

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Pool parties scream 1990s MTV, at the moment when The Real World transitioned from documenting the lives of Generation X trying to find their place in the world to documenting the lives of attention whores trying to find their way in each other’s orifices. Take a song that is deceptively catchy for the first five listens, and then ten years later you are embarrassed that you used to cheer when they came on at the club you used to go to in college.  Not that I ever liked Crazy Town’s “Butterfly.” The tribal tattoos, piercings, Drakkar Noir, date rape vibe and bad attempt at rapping is the equivalent of pop star toxic sludge. -RJH

ALIEN ANT FARM – Smooth Criminal

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Toxic waste pool party you say? Yeah, that sounds pretty gross, and plus I’m not a big fan of taking my shirt off. You see I have red hair, so my torso isn’t meant to be seen. All in all this whole idea sounds stupid to me… however, I was once stupid. Yes, way back in Jr High, when I did dumb shit all the time! If only their was a song that played every second of every day throughout my Jr High career. Like some kind of super Pavlovian response it could transport me back to that strange time of life. Oh maybe Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm? Yes perfect! Plus, in the video they’re literally having a pool party. It’s like it was meant to be.-KM

GRAVITY KILLS – GUILTY

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Pool parties generally call for happy, fun, upbeat pop songs pumping out of a boom box in the summer sun.  As day turns into night, it’s customary to play some more fun dance songs as people start to mingle and loosen up.  All those rules go out the window, however, when said pool party involves toxic waste, in which case I imagine there is just a bunch of weird, freaky shit going down all day and cheerful pop songs are nowhere to be found.  For that reason, I decided to break out one of my favorite mid-90s hard rock songs that has a decidedly dirty, edgy feel to it while still kicking a respectable amount of ass. Gravity Kills didn’t turn out to be much more than a flash in the pan in the grand scheme of things, probably due to being a bit too much like Nine Inch Nails and not really separating themselves from the mid-90s alternative rock herd.  Still, this song would definitely be a welcome addition to any playlist at this kind of pool party, as both the volume and Geiger counters would be pushing eleven when this was bumping.  This is the kind of song that makes you not even worry about the radiation poisoning you’re almost certainly going to suffer very soon. -BH