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Am I Right, Ladies? Fictional Men That Make My Ovaries Shrivel

I get a crush on a fictional character practically every time I turn on the tv or watch a movie (Ben Wyatt, call me!). There are some, however, that just have such negative appeal that make me physically cringe from repulsion. This is not about their physical attractiveness, because as we all know, actors are usually cast is roles due to their physical attractiveness meeting conventional standards. This has to do with some annoying trait or action. The following repulsive men are probably more repulsive to me because I believe that the writer or show creator truly believes they are likeable characters. Sorry, this lady WOULD kick ‘em out of bed.

 

Dave (Zachary Knighton), Happy Endings

When the show first started, it seemed Dave was going to be the protagonist, a Ted Mosby-esque everyman that was unlucky in love. Not only are the other characters a thousand times more interesting and charming, I’ve felt no reason for Dave TO succeed in love. He seems to fail at every dating scenario, and not in a goofy, cute-Max (Adam Pally) way. If he wasn’t whining over losing his fiance Alex, he was whining over how nervous he was to get into the dating pool again. If it’s not that, he’s whining over his food truck business. Sensing a pattern? The whining is such a turn-off. Not to mention the faux-hipster attire that seems really calculated. It’s a good thing the rest of the gang still hangs out with him, that seems to be his only ascertainable identitity.

Jeff Winger (Joel Mchale), Community

Don’t get me wrong, I love an egotistical wise-ass. They make great friends and are tons of fun to hang out with. Which, I am sure Jeff Winger is. However, throughout the series, there have been major hints at a relationship with either Britta or Annie. We, as the audience, are supposed to believe that Jeff Winger can really care about people. If he was just part of the gang, the wise-ass friend to everyone, his obnoxious antics would be funny, but if we are supposed to believe him as a character who has geniune feelings for someone. But then, in the next scene (or dream sequence, or claymation, or animation, or whatever this show does) he’ll go back to his asinine, selfish ways. It really can’t be both ways; if there is to be growth in his character, then there has to be real change. Am I expecting too much from a sitcom? Maybe. But it’s a two-way street. If the writers want me to care about a character and root for them to succeed in a relationship, they have to make the effort too; they have to be willing to let their characters change and develop.

 

Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), The Walking Dead

Rick probably believes he is the good guy, but MAN is his hero complex off-putting. When he caught up with the original camp, things were just fine but he took it upon himself to become the leader, and make every decision for them. And all his rescue missions that his long-lost wife BEGGED him not to do…I feel like it was more about making himself feel better than the actual rescue. On Herschel’s farm, he tries to be the leader for everyone, INCLUDING Herschel/ I am sure if I were in the end times looking at the near end of humanity, my standards would be different, but I’d certainly want to be with someone who cared more about my well-being than trying to get rid of their own guilt. TEAM SHANE!

 

Unamed Driver (Ryan Gosling), Drive

This one is very infuriating because against my better judgement, I did get a crush on Ryan Gosling’s character- the strong, silent, bad-boy type. Gawd! How cliche! But on further thought; damn he was frustrating. Why does Irene have to carry all the conversations? What happens if they did end up together, what would that be like? Just silent nights staring at the tv? The initial intrigue would wear off real fast. Gee, he did have a lot to say when he was slapping Christina Hendricks around.

 

Phil Dunphy (Ty Burrell), Modern Family

What the Modern Family writers think of Phil: a lovable goof, young at heart who would do anything for his family. What I see: An infantile, emasculated man who can’t stand up for himself who acts inappropriately in most situations. The running gag on the show is that Phil always wants to do something silly and childish, and his wife Claire, the control freak, forbids him from doing it and Phil then feels dejected and unappreciated. Whereas Claire’s insufferable condescending scolding is also infuriating, it is so baffling to me why Phil doesn’t stand up for himself, always letting Claire be right. I mean, I don’t want Phil to become abusive, or even super-macho for that matter. It would just be nice for him to act like a freaking adult. His constant lack of attention span and childlike interests are not endearing, they are just that: childish. No wonder Claire is in a bad mood all the time: there’s no bigger turnoff than feeling like you are your husband’s mother. – Robin Hardwick

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