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POPFILTER VS. THE CLASSICS

POP FILTER

VS.

THE CLASSICS OF 1979

THE MUPPET MOVIE

The Muppet Movie is classic because the Muppets and their sense of humor still hold up today. I'm gonna be up front about it; I love the Muppets, and it's going to be hard to say anything bad about them. The Muppet Movie came out in 1979 and got rave reviews, today it holds a 90% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes, so it is beloved by many, but does it deserve the recognition?

 

The Muppet Movie is a movie within a movie, full of Meta-reference and cameos from a lot of old school hollywood; Mel Brooks, Telly Savalas, Bob Hope, and Steve Martin all show up to make you laugh. The film starts at a private screening of The Muppet Movie. As the lights go down Robin the Frog asks Kermit if the movie they are about to watch is how the Muppets got together; Kermit replies, “approximately”. As well as being flick within a flick, it's essentially a road trip movie. Kermit is sitting on a log singing “Rainbow Connection” when Bernie, a Hollywood agent (Dom DeLuise), paddles up in a boat and tells Kermit he should go to Hollywood and get rich and famous. So Kermit goes for it, and on the way meets Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Gonzo the Great (my personal favorite), and the rest of the gang. Kermit is also being pursued by Doc Hopper (Charles Durning, playing a younger version of his character from “O' Brother Where Art Thou”) who wants Kermit to endorse his french-fried frog legs restaurants. Kermit finds the idea appalling so he declines, but Doc can't have that, so he hires an assassin to kill Kermit. It's a narrative of very heavy duty proportions.

 

The movie on a technical level is astonishing. I saw the latest Muppet outing and really enjoyed it, but I wasn't as impressed as I thought I would be. Jim Henson and crew in 1979 brought the Muppets to life; Kermit riding a bicycle alone is worth the price off admission. Another highlight would be Miss piggy kicking some Henchmen ass, and saving Kermit's in the process.

 

The Muppets feel like real people, and evoke a real emotional experience, the Muppets are the best of humanity in felt form; they are the people (or farm animals) we wish we could be. So if you are unable to recall childhood on a whim, throw on The Muppet Movie, it's funny and touching and I promise you won't regret it. It is a classic after all.

PopFilter Special Report: Arrested Development…

PopFilter Special Report:

I Can’t Wait For the New Episodes of Arrested Development (Even Though They Make Me Super Nervous)

Hello. Good talk. Now let’s get to it. I am nervous. I am nervous that when Arrested Development drops, in exactly four days from now, it may not live up to the hype. I am here now not to be a wet blanket on your chicken dance party but rather to bring the hype level down from nutballs insanity to a more reasonable nutballs awesome. Before I delve any deeper into my own crazy fucking head, however, I would just like to make it known that I am currently drooling at the prospect of more AD episodes. Just throwing that out there.

This kid, like me, is drooling spicy club sauce.

There are a number of reasons why I (and you) should be nervous about this new ‘season’ of Arrested Development. To begin with, it is a known property that Netflix has been kind enough to bring back to life. They have a lot more original shit coming in the future, but this is the comedy equivalent of bringing Firefly back and it’s in the hands of the people that were kind enough to give the world Hemlock Grove. And while Netflix is not at all a wasteland of garbage original programming, taking a known entity like this and giving it to you all at once is a bit of a daunting task. It’s not impossible, but it’s worth noting.

And that’s why you always leave a note!

Then there are the fans. When this show aired, it was all Fox could do to get a goddamn one share. Now, with the advent of TV on DVD everyone can go back and get caught up on shit they should have watched. And when you recommended Arrested Development to your co-worker, he watched it with his wife, who then recommended it to her co-workers and on and on it goes. At this point, there are more people that have seen it than haven’t, and this is another small red flag. Mitch Hurwitz and the cast have a seemingly insurmountable pile of hype and expectations to deal with, all the while trying to appease a much broader audience than they ever had ten years ago. And yes, Arrested Development premiered ten fucking years ago. Why don’t you let that roll around your noodle, poodle?

I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.

And that leads me nicely into the time issue. As more and more time goes by, there are more and more mythologies associated with the property that is Arrested Development. When will they make a movie? Will they make a movie? Is Michael Cera really the only one that is holding this whole project up? And why won’t they make that fucking movie? All of these questions have been bandied about since Ron Howard infamously scratched the bottom of his chin in a meeting with Maeby Funke and said that it wouldn’t work as a TV show but it might work as a movie. All of this time has allowed for a thick layer of foam to froth at the mouths of the show’s ravenous fans. And now, with a veritable smorgasbord of episodes so close to the tips of their fingers, they lunge with a hunger rarely seen. Some might say this is good. I believe it will lead to people being hyper sensitive to every single detail and then instantly posting inaccuracies with the AD cannon to their tumblrs and WordPress blogs to be generally bitchy internet shitheads. And while it may not, I get nervous thinking that it might not be the banner week the cast and crew is hoping for.

Look at banner, Michael!

To be more honest than I have ever been on the internet before, I have to say that the biggest reason for my nervousness is the fact that what was hidden will now be seen. There is something to be said for anticipation and mystery. When that’s gone, you have to look at what you have and actually decide if it’s good or not. And while I will defend to the death the greatness of AD’s first three seasons, I cannot say anything more than ‘I hope it’s good’ when it comes to the fourth. And this makes me nervous. I don’t want the cast to have aged and changed. I don’t want to think that Mitch Herwitz has lost a step or that these people have generally lost touch with their characters (except for Jason Bateman, who has been doing a Michael Bluth impersonation since 2003). I want to think that it’s all going to be amazing and awesome.

But I’m still nervous because I don’t know if it’s going to be. The time for waiting, however, is almost over. There will very soon be no more mystery as to what the Bluths have been up to. Who’s a never-nude, who’s had work done and who wants to fuck their family member? Maybe these questions won’t all be answered, but it’s a scientific fact that the mystery and wonderment that has surrounded this show since its cancellation will all be over.

I hear the jury’s still out on science.

At least until they announce the movie.

 

With Love,

Jason R. Noble

FUCK THAT CALF!

FUCK THAT CALF!

CALF

In which we slay the things others hold dear.

HARLEMSH

The Harlem Shake

Are you fucking kidding me, America? I don’t give a fuck that this is only a trend and will die a very quick death because this is a really fucking stupid thing. This song is average but the fact that this fucking dancing trend is a thing is embarrassing. Here’s the deal; to make a Harlem Shake video you really just need 4 to 14 people and a camera. I like the simplicity of it and I like that anyone can do it but my problem here is that people think it’s really funny and clever. I have heard people have conversations about where they rank the different Harlem Shake videos they have seen like they’re different in any way. They aren’t. Stop it. I hope that by the time this rant goes up on the popfilter website, people have to look up what a Harlem Shake is because it’s been erased from our collective brains so completely. Unfortunately, I know the internet and that probably won’t be the case. This shit needs to be treated like a toddler who starts crying when you say he can’t have a cookie; just ignore it and it will calm down and then you can forget that it even existed. – JRN

The Office

The Office

           Do you remember that scene in Full Metal Jacket where the Viet Kong sniper, a young woman, is writhing on the floor in agony saying, “Shoot me…please” to the GI’s? That is exactly how I feel about this show now. Someone put it out of its god damn misery! Please! I feel sorry for it! Someone needs to do the right thing, here. Its post, post, post any story line we care about. Steve Carrel is gone, Pam and Jim got together, which was great, but now there marriage is shitty and it’s just sad. It’s done this tricky thing were it didn’t just become terrible in comparison to the first few seasons, no. What happened is the storylines starting going into a direction of diminishing returns, like a downward trajectory of being interesting, and have actually deteriorated the watchability of the episodes from the seasons that were any good. It’s weird, and I didn’t know that was possible. Go back and watch something from the second season, it doesn’t hold up as very good. The whole series is kind of ruined. Someone needs to play the house music and put a stop to it, this goose is cooked.-SR

Ryan and Jason vs. SNL

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE:

Ben Affleck/Kanye West

5 SKITS

(3 HITS, 2 SHITS)

THE HITS

WEEKEND UPDATE: THE RETURN OF AMY POEHLER

If there is a Best-Of-Anything, and Amy Poehler is involved, and I am in charge of who makes the list, she will make the list. – RH

WEEKEND UPDATE: STEPHON

Stephon is a one-note character that should have, in true SNL fashion, been burnt out years before his last appearance. That never came close to happening, and here we get the send-off that he truly deserved. Stephon runs off the stage, after being jilted by Seth Meyers for the last time, and runs to his wedding. The wedding he runs to isn’t just a gay wedding, but the Stephoniest wedding in history. I’m not going to say any more, but if you haven’t seen it, take a look. It’s equal parts crazy (expected) and touching (not expected at all.) If there is a Best-Of-Anything, and Amy DJ Baby Bok Choi is involved, and I am in charge of who makes the list, he will make the list.- RH

TOP OF THE POPS

Wow. While this isn’t a funny skit, it’s fucking completely amazing. Fred Armisen as Ian Rubbish gets the SNL band together for one last jam. This is an all-star musical line up that has gathered to say goodbye to three cast members all at once. And to top it off, the song is actually awesome and somehow sound exactly like something that a again rocker would write in the twilight of his career. Also, every cast member that is on stage is actually playing their instruments, which makes the music nerd in me beam with joy. And I know that Fred Armisen is probably not at the top of anyone’s watch list for the future, but he fucking should be. He’s about to have a goddamn moment. – JRN

THE SHITS

IRANIAN FILM

If Argo was the last thing that Ben Affleck has done, then it should come as no surprise that we’re going to get an Argo skit. I think the monologue, in which Affleck brought Jennifer Garner on stage to explain his Oscar acceptance speech, was enough, but so be it. Here we get a halfway decent premise that failed in every single way, from its ability to say something new about the Argo controversy, to having a funny moment. At least Armisen and Hader had an extra moment or two in the show. – RH

GREG’S FUNERAL

Boy is this not funny. This shit is a bummer. Ben Affleck does a pitch-perfect hispanic accent and it’s wasted in a skit that seems to think talking about how wide and short a penis is is enough for a sketch. None of the “eulogies” were funny and, though he tried with everything he had, even the great Ben Affleck couldn’t save this shit. – JRN

Welcome to the Internet

Welcome to the Internet

 

Welcome back yourpopfiltrites! And to those of you who are just having your first internet experience you came to the right place! I’m going to show you all the fun the internet has to offer! All of it.

 

Big Internet News: Crazy Amy’s Bakery

The internet has changed everything as we know it. This is especially true of businesses of every shape and size, who must now navigate the world of social media and internet advertising to be successful. To fail to do so is to doom your business. Every so often though, directly in the face of all sense and logic, someone comes along who not only fails to properly navigate the changing landscape of business and advertising in the internet age but does so in such a spectacularly bad fashion it becomes an internet event all its own. Of course I’m referring here to Amy’s Baking Company and the complete ruination they visited upon themselves through the magic of the internet.

Owned by Samy and Amy Bouzaglo, the small restaurant operates in Scottsdale, Arizona and offers a wide range of food and drink and is especially known for its desserts. All of that is over now as they have not only completely mismanaged their internet branding but have presented to the world a face of complete insanity.

Their particular story begins in 2010 when food blogger Joel Latondress wrote a negative review of the restaurant on Yelp. Amy Bouzaglo responded in a way that Mr. Latondress, in a fit of kindness, described as “inappropriate.” A more accurate description, in my humble opinion, might have been “bat-shit crazy.” Naturally the story got picked up by a couple of local stations and ignited a minor brouhaha in the local area and the foodie corner of the internet.

Misstep 1: Responding to a semi-popular internet personality’s review with personal attacks.

Now, having garnered some fresh negative attention, their reviews on Yelp, which were tepid to begin with, began declining quickly. ABC’s response to the negative attention their negative actions got them? More negative actions! They began accusing Yelp reviewers of lying and falsely reporting their reviews as inappropriate to Yelp, causing some to be taken down. Naturally when the Yelpers noticed they immediately posted their review again, this time with a paragraph letting everyone know the abuse they had received from ABC.

Misstep 2: Responding to negative Yelp reviews with false accusations and personal attacks.

Additionally, there exists the real possibility ABC posted faux “reviews” under created profiles in an attempt to stymie the tide of negative reviews they had been receiving. I found one review in particular that seems highly suspect. Not only is it this Yelp member’s sole review, it specifically mentions Olive Garden for seemingly no reason, a restaurant that ABC had previously brought up to mock in a response to a negative review. Not surprisingly, the profile was also created around the same time Joel Latondress posted his negative review.

Misstep 3: Possibly posting fake reviews of their own restaurant.

Fast forward a few years and surprise!; ABC is not doing so hot when it comes to selling food. They agree to be on the Fox network’s reality program Kitchen Nightmares, a show wherein Gordon Ramsay (himself already proven to be highly meme-able) goes to various struggling restaurants, tears them apart in that always brutally honest way of his and then tells them how to improve. That’s how it’s supposed to go at least. Unfortunately Samy and Amy were operating under the assumption there was nothing wrong at all with their business and what Mr. Ramsay was going to do was validate their every opinion and tell them all their food was wonderful and only idiots could possibly disagree. This is what happened next:


Download | YouTube MP3 Converter

Through their own unique blend of delusion, egomania and yelling the proprietors of Amy’s Baking Company managed to push one of the most combative TV personalities alive out of their doors. In a supposedly unprecedented move Mr. Ramsay refused to continue the show and never gets to the “improvement” stage of the show, instead opting to walk away. Impressive. Of course this is HIS show so maybe that wasn’t the best move. Also, now that there has been no third act (the “improvement” stage) the show has tons of extra time to waste, and how do you think they’re going to fill that time? Probably not with glowing reviews of the restaurant.

It also comes out during the show that the owners of the restaurant serve pre-packaged frozen food as “fresh” and pay their servers an hourly wage but keep their tips, a practice that is at best objectionable and at worst illegal.

Misstep 4: Responding to a famous TV personality’s assessment of their restaurant with a stubborn refusal to hear any criticism that ranges from ignoring comments to crazily shouting in his face, all while being filmed for his show. Also, stealing money from working kids never really plays well, no matter how you spin it.

Guess what though? It doesn’t end there. After the airing of the show the negative comments that had previously been mostly restricted to Yelp began showing up on their Facebook page and that’s when things get REALLY nuts. ABC responded to the comments on their Facebook wall with INSANE ALL CAPS RANTING. You can find some highlights here and here. When they realized the primary source of the comments was stemming from a link posted on Reddit, they went ahead and included them in their attacks. Things did not go better for them after launching this attack on an entire and gigantic online community. It came out that Amy Bouzaglo, then Amy Bossingham (or Amanda if you’re a court of law) had previously been convicted of applying for a line of credit with another person’s social security number (ie. identity theft). For this crime she was ordered by the court to serve 14 months in prison and pay $36,294.95 in restitution.

Misstep 5: Responding to negative Facebook comments with insane Facebook comments.

Misstep 6: Dragging an entire online community into the feud, resulting in unsavory facts from their past coming to light.

Later they would claim to have been hacked. A convenient story for someone waking up to the reality that they had just ruined their business. Even if they are telling the truth it would mean they had sparked enough hatred that one person or perhaps a small group of individuals took it upon themselves to take the time and hack into their Facebook, Twitter AND Yelp pages. Even if this claim is true, it still doesn’t bode well for ABC.

Misstep 7: Possibly lying about being hacked.

The moral of the story is this: the internet is a powerful tool for a business. Wield this tool correctly and you will find it a great boon for your entrepreneurial endeavor. Misuse it and it will become an insatiable monster that hungers only for your flesh. A bit melodramatic? As of the writing of this article it’s been about a week since ABC’s Facebook explosion. Do a Google search for them now and you will still find news articles talking about their failure. Get on YouTube and search Amy’s baking company. You’ll find everything from TV spots to a dramatic reading of their Facebook comments. They’re being taken apart piecemeal and now rumors are beginning to float that the restaurant itself is a front for organized crime. The internet has demanded its pound of flesh and it’s going to get it.

 

Internet Time Waster of the Month: Information Is Beautiful

If you’re a fan of infographics like I am you’ll find yourself revisiting this site again and again. Run by David McCandless, who describes himself as “an independent data journalist and information designer,” the site is a collection of infographics on a wide range of topics and concerns. Informative and beautiful, be careful about listening to the siren’s song of this site, you may find yourself staying longer than you planned.

 

That’s it folks! Here’s a series of gifs for you to enjoy

-SB

PopFilter Podcast 94

Play

It’s time for some sausage! On this episode, the friends all discuss “Save Rock and Roll” by Fallout Boy, the film Not Fade Away,  SyFys Defiance and a whole bunch of other shit. You’re going to love it as much as the friends! Which is a lot! Promise!

TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH

In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy

STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS


AKA:  STAR TREK 2: Killing Time ’til Star Wars

REVIEW:  The marketing is incredibly deceiving, building up a rivalry between Kirk and crew and the terrorist played by Benedict Cumberpatch (the single best name in the world). Honestly, that takes about 30 min before it turns into a well-deserved summer vacation romp on a beautiful paradise planet. The one hint we get in the trailer  is Spock and Kirk frolicking through the red forest before taking a breath-taking dive into crystal blue water. If you never wanted to now what Star Fleet’s Summer Vacation looked like, take a hard pass. 

SPOILER:  George has a pretty dramatic scene with John Cho, furthering that this new franchise can’t escape its past. Takei

RATING: ** (out of ****)

FRANCES HA

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AKA:  Greta Gurwig’s Day Out!

REVIEW:  Noah Baumbach’s (assumed) love affair with Greta Gurwig finally leads her into more of a creative role as they cowrote the film together. Gurwig is flawless in creating a human being in roles that would be Deschanelesque Manic Pixie by grounding them with depression and social flaws. There are consequences to her living outside of societal norms, but that doesn’t stop her, and she pulls it off in a way that’s endlessly fascinating. THere aren’t enough movies that are simply about friendship more that anything else, and Frances Ha covers the often-complicated and difficult territory that comes with being friends with a fucking weirdo. 

SPOILER:  You’re going to fall in love with Gurwig. 

RATING: *** (out of ****)

STORIES WE TELL


AKA: How to Air Out Your Family’s Secrets (Without Making Them Hate You)

REVIEW:  This summer has been weirdly cordial so far. Each week we’re getting one blockbuster and a couple of indies, so there’s no real competition for opening weekends. If you have to choose one movie to see this weekend, make it this one. Star Trek will do fine if you wait to see it, and Frances Ha has its die hard fans that will follow Baumbauch no matter what. Go se this unlikely entertaining doc, where Sarah Polley makes a film out of what you and cousins drunkenly talk about late at night during family reunions. Every family has some fucked up secrets, Polley just figured out a way to get those close to her to open up and share theirs in a compelling and insightful way. This film has no right to be as riveting as it is. 

SPOILER:  Sarah Polley IS the chick from Go. Tell all your friends you were totally right. 

RATING: *** (out of ****)

POP FILTER EDITORIAL

PopFilterEditorial 

In which we step from behind the curtain to spout opinions. 

Be Offended By Laziness And Nothing Else

        It seems like there’s almost an annual event in the media: a comic says something that offends someone, and then the world divides into those crying out free speech and those denouncing the content of the joke. Here I use the term offensive due to how others define it; personally, I can’t think of any topic that offends me based on content alone. I may be a rare case– I’ve been performing stand up comedy for several years, and inundated myself with it for over two decades. The content, while important, is always thoroughly discussed; intent and context are less so. While these three are important factors in the creation of a joke, there’s a fourth, more important, factor never discussed: effort. Comedy is called an art by those who write and perform, but a true craft takes effort and energy. If the audience can guess the punch in your setup, it’s a bad joke. Instead of taking the time to hone and craft a joke, there are many comics who just try to push an envelope that their predecessors tore to shreds decades ago.

The latest event that looks like it could be this year’s comedy controversy is Larry David’s piece in the New York Times regarding the tragic Boston marathon bombing. In the piece, David sets up a scenario imagining if his mother had to defend his name if implicated in the bombing. Her go-to defenses include traditional stereotypes connected to Jewish mothers, “He sees a spider in the house, he gently puts it in a tissue and takes it outside. That’s a bomber? That’s a pleasure!”. The article continues on this fashion.  Many have come out against the article, calling “too soon”, including some employees of the Times itself. Public Editor Margaret Sullivan wrote a response, quoting numerous readers calling for an apology by both David, and the Times. Readers denounced the piece due to its content, saying things like, “There are people in Boston with no legs and Mr. David seems to think it all very funny.” Sullivan takes a different stance. While she acknowledges that humor is subjective, she breaks down her issue with the piece not working, stating she was upset “not only because it was insensitive, but also because it was unfunny.” Beyond the content of the joke, Sullivan’s bigger gripe is that it just wasn’t funny enough. I actually agree with her. I wasn’t horrified by it – David’s words didn’t “make my skin crawl”, as one reader said – but for a topic like this you have to bring your A-game. For someone as quick-witted as Larry David, I give his page long essay that’s essentially just a joke about Jewish mothers. I smirked perhaps once, in the beginning, but the rest of the piece is just more of the same old rehashed material.

        There are numerous reasons we can laugh, and there’s not one single way to write a joke. Two common joke styles are incongruity, and the absurd. A very lofty-sounding study called “Assessing The Appreciation Of The Content And Structure Of Humor: Construction Of A New Scale”, defines incongruity theory as “a two-stage process [that] can be observed, which consists of the perception of an incongruity and its resolution.” We non-scientists know this two-stage process as the set up and the punch line. Setups create a premise, and the punch twists an expectation, creating (in theory) a humorous situation. The absurd is a little more difficult to define: simplified, it points out how inane, or ridiculous an experience is. This is what David’s NY Times piece does– it sets up a hypothetical “what if”, but unfortunately we’ve been getting jokes about Jewish moms for decades.  It’s still more exciting than the slough of “jokes” that flooded Twitter in the days following the bombing, including gems like “But Obama said we won the war on terrorism!!!! I’m so confused!!!!.” At least Larry David was sort of trying to say something, most people were trying to prove how “edgy” they were without putting the time in to craft a real joke. This is what offends me more than any dead baby, rape, or 9/11 joke ever could. It’s the laziness, the lack of effort people put into their “humor”, relying on shock or edge in an era where shock and edge have been dead for decades. We’re flooded daily with countless videos of sex, death and Family Guy. Shock me with something I’m not drowning in: wit.  I’m all for free speech, now just prove you have something worthwhile to say.-MG

FLICKCHART’S GREATEST BATTLES

Flickchart’s Greatest Battles

 In which we pit two movies together using flickchart.com, debating their merits or lack thereof

ROUND ONE

the-world-is-not-enough

The World Is Not Enough (1999)

vs

casinoroyale

Casino Royale (2006)

Before you scream “no contest,” be aware this is a battle between Bonds.

Brosnan was a clean-cut, savvy, and sharp Bond, who seemed to lack human emotion; just the way we desire our operatives to be. His charm seemed to be manufactured, almost part of his training. If he had wit, he didn’t have to use it much outside of combat. Robert Carlyle plays an adversary that dies in an unsatisfactory way. Getting killed off by coincidence, luck, or blah blah blah doesn’t compare to the kills made by Bond’s hands. (See: Sean Bean in GoldenEye.) At the end of World, I felt cheated in that respect.

Scruffy, bitter, and reckless are the words I would use to describe Craig’s Bond. Akin to an unsharpened knife, he knows hows to wield himself, but not as precise as any previous Bond. He’s in the process of becoming Bond (most likely Connery). Unlike his predecessor, I would venture to say he has more wit than charm. A raw and unrefined killer, it takes three films until Craig is given a villain that is not only scary, but worthy of Bond’s attention. A card playing mathematician, a multinational CEO, or an ex-operative hungry for vengeance? I’m glad Casino Royale was “practice” for the glorious Skyfall.

Great casts in both movies. Plot of The World Is Not Enough is okay, but it didn’t seem as dire as it should have been. Compare that to Casino where it seemed more critical than it might have actually been (a bad guy getting more money, what else is new?).

How I came to this decision is even if GoldenEye was in the running, the outcome would have been the same. To be honest, I considered cheating a Flickchart and say I drew GoldenEye and Skyfall for the ultimate Bond battle for people who grew to love 007, due to the Nintendo 64. Instead, I just talked about the actors instead of the plot. Suck it.

Plot, story, and supporting actors aside, I didn’t feel a connection to Brosnan the way I did with Craig; I’m sure he would hate to hear it, but the latter feels more… American.

Winner:

Casino Royale (2006)

ROUND TWO

220px-The_nightmare_before_christmas_poster

The Nightmare Before Christmas

VS

Toy_Story

Toy Story

This is damn near impossible. I loved both of these movies growing up and watched them at about the same time. The nostalgia factor in this battle is through the roof but relatively equal so I guess this one is going to come down to which one I actually prefer. Toy Story is as re-watchable as anything I have ever seen. When you view it at different ages the film unfolds and hits you in different ways that are no less awesome. Watching this at 13 or 23 or 27 is a totally different experience. Nightmare Before Christmas, however, is a film that makes you feel the same thing over and over every time you watch it, which is not at all a knock on the film at all. One is a love story and the other is a tale of friendship. Fuck. Both of these movies deal with the intricacies of human interaction using animation as their medium. I suppose that while Nightmare is a rad flick, I have to give this one to Toy Story. While Nightmare took me to infinity, Toy Story took me there and beyond. Sorry. – JRN

Winner:

Toy Story

Ryan and Jason vs. SNL

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE:

Kristen Wiig/Vampire Weekend

5 SKITS

(3 HITS, 2 SHITS)

THE HITS

TARGET LADY

Despite being one of the greatest cast members of all time, Kristen Wiig doesn’t have a lot of strong recurring characters (the less said about Gilly, who only makes a brief appearance in the episode, the better). For some reason, though, Target Lady always gets me. I don’t know why, and I don’t feel good about it, but I can watch her pronounce the word “almond” all day long. – RH

DOUBLE DATE

Double Date may not have as many laugh-out loud moments as it should, but I do really have to give it up to the performances. Bobby Moynihan and Tim Robinson, as two sixth grade boys, nail the awkwardness, and Wiig and Cicely Strong are great as those dicknosed chicks that fill every single bar. Bonus point for never remotely explaining how the four of them ended up on this date. – RH

1-800-FLOWERS

This skit it not the funniest, although it does have some laughs. The brilliance of this skit is that it pokes fun at both the 1-800-Flowers.com commercials (something I had no idea that anyone else thought were absolutely ridiculous) and the ways that moms will always be able to get you. The mother doesn’t do anything completely ridiculous but the fact that it’s your mom makes you readily irritated for some reason. That’s some pretty heavy shit but they nail it in pitch-perfect fashion and in only two minutes. Again, while this isn’t the funniest SNL skit I have ever seen, it might be the most tightly written. – JRN

THE SHITS

C-SPAN BENGHAZI HEARINGS

In a long night filled with stinkeroos, this was the stinkerooiest, not just because of its having next to no jokes, but because the whole thing completely falls apart at the end. It’s worth watching, just to see Bill Hader realize it one second after we have. – RH

ACUPUNCTURE

It’s just not funny. It seems like the writers thought, “what if we just cover Kristen Wiig in blood and let her improv with Jason Sudeikis?”. The answer is that nothing funny will happen. This is a classic dead-before-the-premise-left-your-lips scenerio. It just fucking sucked. – JRN

 

HEY YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?

In which we tell you about awesome things that you must look into and enjoy.

LISTEN TO “THRILLING ADVENTURE HOUR”

thrillingadventurecast

Fuck, there are a lot of podcasts.  If everybody stopped producing content now, it would still take you a lifetime to listen to everything even kinda sorta good.  So I’m pretty choosy about what I listen to, but the one show that’s a no-brainer is the Thrilling Adventure Hour on the Nerdist Network.  Recorded live at Largo in LA, TAH is an “old-timey radio show” starring some of comedy’s finest, including Paul F. Tompkins, Paget Brewster, Marc Evan Jackson, and James Urbaniak. With tongue planted firmly in cheek, they recreate vintage radio antics through a revolving door of serialized stories-my personal favorite is Sparks Nevada, Marshal of Mars. He rides a rocket horse and has robot fists. How can I not love that?  As the show has progressed, it’s attracted absurd talent to do guest spots, including Patton Oswalt, Nathan Fillion, and Colin Hanks. It’s super funny, but what makes it work is how thouroughly the writers clearly love old-timey radio.  While some of the jokes may be a bit more modernized, the show embraces the format rather than mocking it, and it’s oddly affecting.  Who’d have thought that as technology barrels forward, one of the best ways to do something worthwhile would be to throw it in reverse and go retro with it?-KRC

READ CROSSED

CrossedFV7Wrap

Do you like a good nights sleep? If you do, don’t read Crossed. If you like being scared out of your wits and having horrifying images burned into mind, well, Crossed is your bag then. Crossed is a ten issue horror comic written by the master of the subversive, Garth Ennis (Preacher, The Boys), with art by Jacen Burrows. It’s a different take on the zombie apocalypse genre, and I personally think a more frightening one. I have to put a disclaimer on this because the comic (that you can now get as a trade paperback in its totality at your local comic shop) is brutal and breaks so many barriers of morality and good taste; recommending it is a slippery slope, but who gives a fuck? Art should challenge you.

Crossed follows a group of survivors after a plague turns most of humanity into raping, cannibalistic, homicidal maniacs. You can tell if someone is crossed by the cross-like rash that appears on their face. They are not your traditional zombies, but they do share some traits. Do not get bit or get any of their bodily fluids on you or you are done for; reference the zombies of 28 Days Later, except these guys will face fuck you to death. The things Ennis comes up with for the Crossed will really shake you, at least it did me, and there is one particular two page splash that comes specifically to mind.

Aside from a small introduction to the main characters, we are thrown into the story ten months after the plague, with our group of survivors trying to make it to Alaska because of its low population and brutally cold weather; you see the Crossed are too focused on killing and raping to worry about a jacket when a skinned face over ones crotch will suffice. The characters are real folks and I could easily put myself in any of their shoes, which makes what happens to some of them genuinely difficult to experience. All of them have to come to terms with doing what they have to do to survive, and thats the whole story. How far would you go to survive and would you risk losing your humanity just to do so?

I’m not gonna delve into plot because it should be experienced without spoilers. Read this book at your own risk, and remember this while you read; there is no hope. There are no heroes. No one is coming to save you. THERE IS ONLY THE CROSSED. -GC

Popfilter Goes to the Movies

The Great Gatsby

the-great-gatsby-poster1

 

Based on possibly the most Cliffsnotes-ed book of all time, The Great Gatsby faces the same dilemma that any adaptation of a classic does – everything you need to make it good is right there in the original, but the original is already so important that just making it ‘good’ isn’t enough.  You have to bring enough to the table that people will sit through a story that they already know by heart without wondering why you’re wasting their time by telling it to them again.  Anyone who is familiar with Baz Luhrmann’s work knows that he is definitely capable of of bringing his own style to The Great Gatsby and most of those people are terrified of what that means.

Especially the ones who saw this.

Especially the ones who saw this.

All of those people were right.  The Great Gatsby is a story that takes place in New York during the roaring 20’s, so Luhrmann’s glitzy, crowded style seems like it could make sense on paper – and that’s really as far as it ever should’ve been taken.  In a “top 5 directors who should do The Great Gatsby” list, he’d make a great number 4 that would spark a lot of interesting discussion.  As “the actual director who did The Great Gatsby” Luhrmann does the annoyingly overwrought job anyone could have guessed he would.

Especially the ones who saw this.

Especially the ones who saw this.

Again, this isn’t to say that The Great Gatsby (the movie) is terrible.  It for the most part faithfully tells the story of The Great Gatsby (the book).  So it’s ok.  It just doesn’t add anything or change anything or make any statement at all that isn’t purely aesthetic.  It’s upsetting in the way that seeing Axl Rose do a karaoke version of Stairway to Heaven would be.  He has the range and gets all the words right but it’s really just a more annoying, flamboyant version of something you already know.

f

Maybe he should buy a stairMASTER to heaven (nailed it).

The “I’d rather watch someone fail trying to do something new” argument is a little played out.  The internet is a thing now so not only are we a race that’s been telling stories for thousands upon thousands of years, but now you can access it all from instantly home and see how unoriginal we really are.  So I think it’s important to point out once more that this isn’t just an adaptation of well-known story, it’s an adaptation of a story that almost everyone has read and studied in its current incarnation.  It’s in modern language and it takes place less than a hundred years ago.  We’re not talking about Beowulf here.

How could we possibly relate to a bunch of young, privileged people living in New York?

How could we possibly relate to a bunch of young, privileged people living in New York?

Doing something new is pretty important here.  I’d rather see a mediocre version of The Great Gatsby that takes place on a moon colony in the distant future than a mediocre version that takes place exactly where the original does.  Or I’d rather see a new take on one of the characters.  Or a theme that the novel only touches on expanded.  And if you aren’t going to change anything significant about the book, please do the original story really well.  Baz Luhrmann is so obsessed with making things visually stunning and mixing Jay-Z into the soundtrack that the story is pretty much relegated to a secondary role.  The cast is filled with amazing actors that never get to actually act because there’s edgy techo music playing while the camera cuts all over the place during any scene that actually carries any weight.  On top of that the one actor who specifically does a bad job is Tobey Maguire, who is kind of playing an important role.

In the biz it's known as the 'lead' role.

In the biz it’s known as the ‘lead’ role.

The first thing any filmmaker should think about when they adapt something like The Great Gatsby is how they’re going to handle Nick Carraway.  It’s the single most difficult part to adapt.  It’s also the absolute worst part of Luhrmann’s version, because that’s what happens when inept people are faced with difficult tasks.  The only real decision he makes about the character, or about the story in general, is to have Nick telling the story from a mental hospital.  It’s still a ton of voice-over narration from a character whose job is basically just to watch everything happen and comment on it, only now we know that he becomes crazy later on.  You’ll notice that Nick being mentally ill in the far future does nothing to help tell the story that’s happening right now on-screen.  The end result is what almost any adaptation of The Great Gatsby will always suffer from – a bunch of things happen and then one of the people that just saw them happen talks about how it just happened.

Although it has worked before.

Although the approach has worked before.

I really dislike Baz Luhrmann, which is probably obvious by now.  Even at his best he’s a cotton candy, visual-only director and this is not him at his best.  I still don’t even know if calling The Great Gatsby a waste of time is fair.  I’ve already said it’s an ok movie.  I just don’t know what purpose it could possibly serve.  If you somehow aren’t familiar with the story already, there is absolutely nothing here that gives you any reason to watch this movie instead of read the book, or even to watch this movie instead of watching another movie.  For everyone else, I just don’t see what happens in this movie that would make you feel rewarded.  You could save ten dollars and have the same experience by re-reading the book while being distracted by loud, remixed pop-songs.  Or save zero dollars and go see Pain & Gain – they’re the exact same quality, but one is from a director that knows what he is.

Baz Lurhmann - somehow looking more smug than Michael Bay.

Baz Lurhmann – somehow looking more smug than Michael Bay.

PopFilter Podcast 93

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On the 93rd episode of the PopFiler Podcast, the friends discuss Secondhand Rapture by MS MR, Zack Stone is Gonna Be Famous and Crimewave. There’s a lot of yelling. And a lot of love. But mostly yelling and screaming. Lots of the screaming.

TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH

In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy

The Great Gatsby


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AKA: American Classics For Dummies 

REVIEW: Visually stunning, but that’s not surprising. Baz Lurhmann is a master at creating visual landscapes, but doesn’t really follow through with everything else that makes a movie good. You’ll be dazzled throughout, but the times that aren’t spent at extravagant parties drag terribly. ALl the actors know exactly how much energy this film needs, and at times it all comes together beautifully, but mostly it’s just too in your face and over the top to be a pleasant experience. 

SPOILER: Tobey Macguire just doesn’t pull off his rap verse the way you’d expect him too. 

RATING: ** (out of ****)

Peeples


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AKA: Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (Now without racial interactions!)

REVIEW: We all knew this was going to happen, we just didn’t want to believe it. Tyler Perry is ushering in other filmmakers to create an empire. While there isn’t Perry in drag or the dramatic heavy-handedness that Perry brings to film, Peeples does gives us the overly broad comedy that’s a trademark of comedies from the 50′s and all of Perry’s work. Think 3 stooges with less wit. Surprisingly enough, his protege Tina Gordon Chism brings more nuance than you’d expect. It’s in no way a good film, but (at times) it actually approaches the heart and the laughs Perry’s films never even get close to. 

SPOILER: Even Craig Robinson can get bogged down by his surroundings. 

RATING: *1/2 (out of ****)

Sightseers


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AKA: How I Spent My Summer Murder Spree

REVIEW: Comedies about murderers have been done before, but never with such charm and fun and outright Britishness. This is a love story about social outcasts, except instead of your typical man-child and manic pixie, Sightseers gives us 2 average people who happen to fall deeper in love through the act of killing. It’s the quiet moments of reality where the film beautifully captures the experience of falling love between the violence that escalates this from a mad romp to a true expression of “us against the world”. 

SPOILER: Double Suicide has never made you cry like it will here. 

RATING: *** (out of ****)

Wake n Bake

WAKE N BAKE

In which Erin informs you of the best movies to blaze to

220px-GoodBurgerPoster

“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?”  That oft-repeated phrase from the sketch-comedy series All That, which aired on Nickelodeon beginning in the mid-nineties, holds a special place in the hearts of many a millennial.  For us, it’s not a question.  It’s an affirmation from our childhood days that we would repeat on the playground, a memento we’d share of the good times we had with our favorite babysitter.

Can't stop me from thinking that this is the worst show ever.

Can’t stop me from thinking that this is the worst show ever.

The phrase comes from one of the most celebrated skits on All That, one that portrays the adventures of a dim-witted counter guy working at Good Burger, a burger joint.  A good one, probably.  Maybe, it was never really clarified.  All That is the most widely-known (only?) SNL analog for children, so I suppose it makes sense that the Nickelodeon show would continue Saturday Night’s tradition of repurposing sketches into movies.

Cherished childhood flicks usually make a great accompaniment to a fat bowl.  But Nickelodeon is in a class all its own, at least for yours truly.  The network’s programs, movies, and it’s briefly cool magazine, were the only things that have ever made me come close to experiencing a sort of divine comfort as a child.  Seriously, I worshipped that orange blob.  So much so that, upon starting Good Burger after I was properly stoned, the Nickelodeon logo that preceded the film was enough to fill me with a glorious nostalgia, a soothing breeze that stirred my innermost happiness fibers.  I recommend making a themed event out of the viewing and ordering some awesome burger combos and shakes to go with the movie, since all the “vapors” will probably make you mad hungry, anyway (statistically speaking).  You might even want to dig up an old VCR from your parents’ garage and plug in Nickelodeon’s orange VHS copy, if authenticity’s your thing.

orange vhs

Not that anyone else will understand.

 

For those of you who haven’t seen it…

Good Burger stars best-buds Kel Mitchell and Kenan Thompson (from All That and Kenan & Kel) as Ed and Dexter, respectively.  (Also gracing the cast are Sinbad, Abe Vigoda, Carmen Electra, and George Clinton.)  Ed is a happy-go-lucky idiot—which should inspire jealousy, since his condition allows him to find true happiness in his fast-food job (and to unironically rollerblade to work.)  Dexter is a high school student in debt for wrecking his teacher’s (played by Sinbad) car on the first day of summer vacation, forcing him to get a job.  He ends up at Good Burger, whose business is threatened by Mondo Burger’s impending grand opening.  Mondo Burger looks like a real-life rendering of something out of The Jetsons.  It’s impressive, imposing, and is run by an exacting totalitarian manager by the name of Kurt (Jan Schweiterman).  What’s worse, they make a burger that’s twice the size of their competitor’s.  For a while, it looks like Good Burger’s done for.  But one day, Dexter notices Ed casually adding his own sauce to his burger at lunch.  (Dexter asks, “You carry your own sauce?”  To which Ed replies, “Yeah, doesn’t everybody?”)  It turns out to be a pretty bangin’ sauce, seeing as its addition to the menu causes Good Burger’s business to outpace that of Mondo Burger’s.  In a move of corporate one-upsmanship, Mondo Burger begins engaging in some alternative food practices in an attempt to beef-up their patties, which are already grotesquely huge.

It still surprises me that it was so much easier back then to sneak small doses of social awareness into kids’ films (because Nickelodeon is an arm of the liberal media, or whatever.)  Apart from the throw-away joke Sinbad makes about not wanting to put a black man in jail when Dexter totals his car, there’s a downplayed yet unapologetic message to the film that’s assuredly political.  Mondo Burger represents greedy corporatism with no moral compunction between itself and their awful goals.  “When people find out you’re putting illegal stuff in their meat, you’re gonna find yourself in jail!”  (After which you’ll say to yourself, “Yeah, right.  And Monsanto laughed and laughed and laughed…  hey… the first three letters of Mondo Burger are the same as in Monsanto…  and they genetically engineer their food to boost production…”  But try not to think about these serious issues too hard when watching the film high.  Remember what happened when we tried to watch Fantastic Planet?)

Just like the program All That was introductory late-night for kids, I’ve kind of always seen Good Burger is a junior stoner-flick.  Not that the subject matter concerns drugs, or encourages kids to smoke in any way.  But its humor definitely taps into the sweet spot of herbally relaxed adults, as well as kids (medicated or otherwise.)  Ed exhibits both the care-free attitude and the propensity for hijinx that often show up in stoner protagonists.  And the jokes in Good Burger are often rooted in the rigid literalism that’s so popular among the elementary crowd: “I asked for a burger with nothing on it, and you gave me a bun!… I expected a meat patty!”  “A meat patty is something.”  It’s either that, or uncut absurdity, such as the lunch scene in which Ed shoves a grape in each nostril and proclaims, “Look!  I’m grape-nose boy.”  Easy enough to make kids laugh, but let’s see how the joke stands up to the hardened working adult.  Are you sober?  You probably won’t laugh.  Drunk?  You might chuckle.  Stoned?  Not only will you laugh at the horrible joke, you’ll laugh at yourself laughing.  (This is why I love marijuana—people say that it just makes you laugh at stupid stuff, but what they don’t realize is that it generates compound interest on all invested laughs.)

There were no pictures representing the opposite of this.

There were no pictures representing the opposite of this.

So does Good Burger=Good Movie?  Probably not.  (But it’s better than MacGruber, Tim.)  It’s slow, a little thin.  It got some pretty poor reviews that are difficult for me to disagree with.  But they were also written by a bunch of stupid adults who work for a living and watch the news.  Seriously.  They tell me that Good Burger sucks, but then they turn around and watch the news.  And honestly, there’s no way you can explain why Good Burger is funny to someone like that.  I mean, you just kind of had to be there.

Why are parents so stupid?

 

Special thanks to my mom for taking me to see Good Burger in the theaters in 1997.

#MusicReview

Secondhand Rapture 

MS MR

Hello and welcome to another installment of #MusicReview. I will be your host for the article, Jason R. Noble. It is a tricky thing when you review a debut album from a band. When you review a pilot or directorial debut, you have a lot of questions about potential. Will the show get better? Will the plot develop in a way that will attract more viewers? Will the director’s hand be felt more or less heavily in the coming films? All of these questions and more need to be answered because there is a group of people working on things like writing, directing, acting, editing and production. And while the acting may not be a factor with music (although performance could be considered the acting portion), everything else needs to be assessed. With that, let’s dig a little into Secondhand Rapture, the debut full-length album from MS MR.

Acting.

This band has a lot going for it. They are a musical duo with a unique perspective on music. They use vocal performance as they would any other instrument to get across that perspective to the audience. They also use synths, which has become more and more commonplace in music, no longer relegated to fringe artists and novelty acts. They are able to jam all of this into a package that is easy to consume and fit for the love of the musical masses. They take great strides in honing their craft as the record unfolds but they also take an unfortunate amount of missteps.

Airhorns: Still relegated to fringe artists and novelty acts.

Rather than break this thing down track by track, I would rather talk about the experience of the album. The first four (of twelve) songs have already been released on their EP Candy Bar Creep Show. These songs are tightly written, pristinely produced and worked to a point that they feel thought out enough to be good but not so manhandled that they feel cheap. Their use of soaring melody goes from working beautifully with the synth beds beneath them to being a near-prefect counterbalance to the synth-sense of dread and gloom that washes over you. To be sure, the beginning of this album is incredibly engaging and new in a way that is not obtrusive.

Whoa…not so fast there, inspirational license plate frame.

As the album goes on, however, the tight synth pop that you begin to expect starts to dissipate into something with less control. The band looses itself in the promise of what could be. They cloud their reality with the possibilities of potential. This helps certain songs in a way that sometimes feels accidental but most of the songs are dragged down by this theoretical situation of “possibilities vs. reality”.

Essentially, MS MR produced a good album that they didn’t know what to do with, so they decided to do too much. When you pour over your work and try to think of ways that it could be better, it takes a disciplined mind to realize that sometimes your ideas for improvement are going to do nothing but clutter what was an already great idea. And that, unfortunately, is the undoing of this album.

He got it and moved on. A lesson we can all take to heart…

This album had the ability to be great. With Max Hershenow using a deft hand on the synths and over all production of the album and Lilly Plapinger’s uniquely gorgeous voice, MS MR has the ability to reach a level of musical innovation and mass appeal that is rare. And while it seems that both Hershenow and Plapinger know this, they were so focused on trying not to choose which category they were going to belong to that they ended up belonging to neither instead of both.

It ain’t milk. It ain’t cream. It ain’t nothin’.

We will be reviewing Secondhand Rapture this week on the PopFilter Podcast so I will save the summation and tracks to dig/miss for the show, but you should listen to this album and decide for yourself. You don’t need to listen to it because it’s amazing or because it is horrifically bad. You should listen to it because for all of its faults, you won’t be sorry that you did.

With Love,

Jason R. Noble

Countdown: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

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This week, the terrible twosome of three decide that they are upset that Rush got into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and wonder if there are other bands who were more deserving. They wonder in a countdown-like fashion.

MAY TV EXTRAVAGANZA

MAY TV EXTRAVAGANZA

 

MARON

 Sally_Kellerman_0

**1/2 (out of ****)

 

 

As a favor to Marc, and the entire crew of Maron, this will be the first, last, and only time that Louie will be mentioned in this review.

 

Shit. Now what do I talk about?

 

Towards the end of the first episode of Maron, Marc tells one of his fans, while petting that fan’s mean cat, that “I’m not for everybody, and the things I do attract are usually the same as me.” This line of dialogue threw me for a loop, mostly because it’s hard to know exactly why it’s in there. If it’s on purpose – that is, the writers thought it was necessary to sum up the premise of the “character” Marc plays, if not the entire show, it’s a little on the nose…a little too little on the nose. If it’s just a throwaway line, for instance, if Marc ad-libbed it, he may have accidentally let everyone know why a show like Maron was probably never going to work in the first place.

 

I should explain to the uninitiated what the hell is going on here, but that’s part of the problem. What uninitiated people have any interest in this show? The other part of the problem is what does this show have to offer the already initiated? We’ll start with the Un’s: Marc Maron was an almost-mainstream comic in the nineties. As his contemporaries, like Seinfeld and Romano, shot past him into super-stardom, he saw his opportunities dry up, thanks in no small part to an enduring need to let people know exactly all of the negative things that he was thinking about them at any given time. Bridges were burned, the phone stopped ringing, and Maron was left with no other option than to throw up a couple mikes in his garage and get whatever friends he still had left to come over and talk to him. It was back before every single person on the planet had their own podcast, and Maron is one of the reasons that they now do. He made it seem easy to sit down with someone, and through honesty and reflection, get them to spill their guts about their process, their hopes, and their dreams. He had no idea that the blossoming niche of podcast listeners were so interested in what made comedians tick, but it was a pretty safe bet that if you get two quasi-celebrities to hash out their indifferences in front of the world, people will listen. Fast forward half a decade letter, and the BBC has turned Chris Hardwick’s Nerdist podcast into a talk show. Scott Aukerman has re-formatted his Comedy Bang Bang podcast in to a parody of a talk show. And Marc Maron has turned his talk show podcast…into a sitcom.

I know what you're wondering. Soon, my pets...soon.

I know what you’re wondering. Soon, my pets…soon.

 

Maybe this is where everything went wrong. Maybe all this should have ever been is two chairs, Marc Maron, and a comedian, hashing it out and making each other laugh. Maybe the only difference here should be a camera recording it, instead of just microphones. Maron marks an important time in Maron’s life, or at least begs an important question: what is Marc Maron actually capable of? If you conquer the podcast world, is it now time to conquer the next step up? My issues with the podcast aside, Marc is pretty good at keeping a conversation going, and holding a person’s hand as they venture into the darkness that is their psyche. But in the meantime, Maron wants to be a star. He wants his bits to be heard. He wants to appeal to the widest audience possible. These are all understandable wants, and I don’t blame him for any of them, but just because you can do one thing, doesn’t mean you can do them all.

Which probably means I should stop trying to prove that I can poop standing up.

Which probably means I should stop trying to prove that I can poop standing up.

On a recent episode of Comedy Bang Bang the podcast (we’re going to have to put ‘the podcast’ after more and more things, aren’t we?), Scott Aukerman changed the entire format of his show, because Maron was on. Typically, Aukerman “interviews” two comedians, one as themselves and the other as a character. The tone of Bang Bang, including its “open door policy”, usually makes for an anything-can-happen sort of chaos. With Maron on, Aukerman invited no other guests, and essentially Marc Maron-ed Marc Maron. It wasn’t a bad episode, but it showed that Aukerman’s usual show wouldn’t work with Maron. It would be weird to have Maron sit down and talk alongside Paul F. Tompkin’s Cake Boss, or Nick Kroll’s El Chupacabra. That’s not what Maron does, and that’s totally fine. What if sitcom acting isn’t what Maron does either. Just because I can still draw a pretty sweet sketch of Bart Simpson skateboarding doesn’t mean I should come over and paint your family portrait.

Please don't have a cow when you see my awesome drawings, man.

Please don’t have a cow when you see my awesome drawings, man.

There’s essentially two sections to Maron, and they flow back and forth almost well enough for you to not notice. There’s Maron’s bits, where he is talking at someone (sometimes himself), and there’s the plot, a barely-there adventure that doesn’t take up too much time so as not to get in the way of the bits. The rants don’t always work, usually because they seemed forced in there, but, in a weird way, the rants are the only time the show comes close to working. Telling a story is hard, and not something Maron has ever really been asked to do, as far as I know. Even a story as simple as tracking down an internet troll, or getting a dead possum out from under your house, need all of the basic elements that any story needs. Conflict and drama and the rise and fall of action and blah blah blah. There just seems to be a very limited amount of interest here in what happens. It reminds me of watching Beavis and Butthead, wishing they would stop doing whatever they were doing and go back to watching videos. The gimmick of Beavis and Butthead was upfront, however; there was no sense of subtlety necessary. Here, everything is put together as if it’s trying to be a real show.

 

Getting back to that line of dialogue I mentioned, Maron the comedian and Maron the television show aren’t for everybody. It’s not that he’s whiny or self-obsessed. He’s just off-balance right now. This is smoothed a little in the second episode, although this might just be because he has more chemistry with Denis Leary and his new assistant than he does with Dave Foley. Attracting the people that are like him isn’t necessarily a good thing either. There are no revelations here. There aren’t any conclusions that Marc comes to that could make anybody rethink anything. These are thoughts that everyone has. They recognize them, internalize them, and then move about their day. Too often, Maron thinks he’s fucking Confucious, and can’t wait to explain to the world all of the “breakthroughs” he makes. Good job, dude. That’s similar to one I made in seventh grade.

These are the Daves that grow, that grow...these are the Daves that grow.

These are the Daves that grow, that grow…these are the Daves that grow.

There’s another lane that Maron needs to realize, and then stay in. He’s a funny guy, but I don’t know if his brand of comedy can be put on paper. That Comedy Bang Bang episode had some laugh out loud moments, but they come when Maron is relaxed, when he realizes that there’s no one left in the room to impress. Most importantly, it’s never big. There’s a scene in the first episode where he confronts the room full of trolls who had been talking shit on him on Twitter. These kids make the guys from The Big Bang Theory look like Don Draper and Roger Sterling. This is the “big” I’m talking about, these set-up set pieces that do not gel with Maron, but do gel with a room full of writers not sure of what they’re supposed to be doing.

 

The reason why this show was, and will probably remain, watchable is because every episode will feature two or three moments of the Maron I want. It will for you too, they might just be different moments than mine. Big Maron, Preachy Maron, Serious Maron. These are all things that seemed forced, as if there’s some sort of one-camera sitcom checklist. But every once in a while Maron will relax, and realize that he’s not relaxed at all, and then maybe we can all have a breakthrough together.

-Ryan Haley

 

Ryan and Jason vs. SNL

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE:

Zach Galifianakis/Of Monsters and Men

5 SKITS

(3 HITS, 2 SHITS)

THE HITS

GOOGLE GLASS ON WEEKEND UPDATE

It’s about time somebody finally sticks it to google, the company that nobody has ever made fun of. This skit has a lot going for it, and it has to because google glass might be the lowest hanging fruit since every single time George W. Bush opened his mouth. Fred Armisen is spot on as the douchy tech blogger that is so excited to have the newest thing that he genuinely doesn’t give a shit that he looks like a fucking moron while he’s using it. I have no idea what the real google glass innovations are all about, but this is three minutes with just enough satire and silliness to remind everyone that Fred Armisen might be the most talented member of this cast. – JRN

DARRELL’S HOUSE (PT. 2)

I know that it’s a little bit unusual for a skit to have two parts, but if you can take the time to go back and watch the classic Darrell’s House pt. 1, this skit will slay you. If you haven’t, however, watched the origin story for this second part of an SNL skit, just sit back and enjoy the nutballs insanity of it. Zach Galifianakis plays a weirdo as well as anybody in history, but his ability to turn on a dime from nice to psycho is a skill that many try and few achieve. From John Hamm to the worst wink in the universe, this skit has enough of that weird SNL goofiness to make you for get about some of the weaker moments in the episode. – JRN

JENNIFER ANISTON LOOK-ALIKE COMPETITION

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Here’s one of those skits that you wish aired at 1:15 in the morning, just so you could see how weird it really could have gotten. Zach is pissed because he got eighth place, out of eight, in the Jennifer Aniston Look-Alike Contest. His upset, screaming character allows his bumpy line readings to come off better. Throw in three or four pretty good Aniston impressions (something that I didn’t know was a thing), and the two most obvious walk-ons of all time, and you got yourself a skit that’s pretty good, if not living up to all of its potential. Sorry about the shitty quality – this one isn’t on Hulu for some reason. – RH

THE SHITS

MICHAEL JORDAN’S WEDDING

Oh boy did they try on this one. If we were grading skits on effort alone, this would be up there. Unfortunately, when the premise of your skit is impressions tied together by coke snorting jugglers, the theoretical hilarity is cut down by the unfunny reality of the skit. And I don’t mean to jizz all over Fred Armisen, but I could listen to this guy talk for hours in his Cubano accent. Other than that, this skit is a number of people trying really hard to save a skit that was doomed before it began. – JRN

 

GAME OF GAME OF THRONES

I’m reserving a weekly spot in “The Shits” section of this article for the game show parody, a skit that is always unfunny and unnecessary. Here we have a Game of Thrones trivia show, or so Zach’s character thought, as every time it’s his turn, he is asked a real word trivia question about something he should know. Or maybe this skit hit way too close to home, as I could answer all of the GOT questions, but then felt bad when the real questions are asked. Maybe instead of watching the next episode of Game of Thrones, I’ll open a newspaper (there’s no fucking way). – RH

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FOR KRISTEN WIIG AND VAMPIRE WEEKEND!!

TRAILER TRASH

TRAILER TRASH

In which we review the films opening this weekend, just based on the trailer, to 100 percent accuracy

IRON MAN 3


AKA: IRON MAN 3: This time it’s serious. 

REVIEW: Shane Black revitalizes the Iron Man series, and kicks off the Marvel Phase 2. While remaining true to the events of what happened previously, he sets a much darker tone and creates a world with more consequences than we’ve seen. The film is riddled with easter eggs with comic fans without it getting in the way of telling this stand alone story, including Iron Patriot  armor (Norman Osborne’s alter ego when leading the Dark Avengers), in addition to files of characters we’ve yet to meet like Dr. Strange, Namor, Black Panther, and Luke Cage. So many comic book movie sequels don’t show the characters grow and change throughout, and this film achieves that rare feat. Tony Stark isn’t carefree anymore, he tries to be, but he’s seen too much shit. Keep it coming, we can still get clever quips from someone who is suffering from depression and PTSD, in fact that might make them even better. People keep comparing this to Dark Knight Rises, but that’s really just because that’s the last 3rd movie in a series to come out. They’re not comparable, because Black is telling a streamlined story and doing it well. Let’s go Phase 2!

SPOILER: Disheartened with the Avengers and the US government, Tony Stark moves to Michigan and starts a team with Mr. Immortal, Squirrel Girl and Monkey Joe. This is what leads him to start drinking. 

RATING: *** (out of ****)

 

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED


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AKA: The Regular Sized Italian Wedding

REVIEW: I often enjoy foreign movies more than domestic, even when they’re telling similar stories to what we’re used to they do it in a different way. Unfortunately,  this Australian romcom does nothing American audiences haven’t seen. It’s schmaltzy and predictable, down to the meet-cute, budding relationship, the slip up with the ex, and the inevitable make up all leading to everyone being incredibly happy. Pass.

SPOILER: It ends in a triple wedding! The third one will surprise you.

RATING: ** (out of ****)

 

THE ICEMAN


AKA: Winona Ryder’s Comeback

REVIEW: Michael Shannon is going to have a hell of a summer. Later, he’ll take on the world as Zod in Man of Steel, but in this quiet movie he shows why he deserves to blow up. And he will, very soon. Making us root for a bad guy isn’t a new device, AMC pretty much built it’s original programming around the idea, and Ray Liotta’s presence is a reminder that it’s been going on for much longer than that. The key is to deliver a tight script (which they do) and cast great actors (which they did). Shannon and Liotta are firing at the top of their games, and Ryder reminds us why America was in love with her before she stole all those identities or whatever. James Franco and Chris Evans show up proving they’re more than super-hero hunks, and they knock it out of the proverbial park.

SPOILER: The Iceman reads a sorority letter after the credits. It’s hilarious.

RATING: ***(out of ****)